


Things Unsaid

by lothalmoons



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: (In So Many Words), F/F, Goodbyes, Past Relationship(s), Pining, Post-Episode: s04e15-16 Family Reunion – and Farewell, it's complicated - Freeform, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 09:56:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19721338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lothalmoons/pseuds/lothalmoons
Summary: Ketsu and Sabine share a moment one last time before Sabine leaves to search for Ezra.





	Things Unsaid

“So you’re really leaving huh?”

Sabine shifted her gaze from the Lothal countryside to the girl approaching her from behind, though she didn’t need to see her to know that it was Ketsu. She’d be able to pick her voice out of a crowd of thousands without so much as a second’s hesitation.

She turned back around, her expression pensive, her voice thick with emotion she wished she didn’t feel. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Ketsu sighed as she let herself sink into the space next to Sabine on the rock overlooking the fields. She didn’t say anything. Neither did Sabine. She wanted desperately to fill the empty space between them, seeming to her then more like an ever-growing chasm, with something other than the gentle breeze ruffling Sabine’s hair, but at that point, so much had happened, that it seemed futile to even attempt to talk at all. 

In a defeated sort of way, Ketsu almost preferred the silence to anything else. If they ever did end up talking, she didn’t trust herself not to reveal everything she’s ever felt - years of guilt and longing were not things that gracefully intermixed into conversation. She figured, and it seemed as if Sabine did too, that it was much more practical, easier, to bury those feelings and never dig them up; it was better to live with a dull ache than have to come face to face with an eruption of agony. 

Though sitting on that rock, watching the setting sun out of the corner of her eye catch the more purple parts of Sabine’s hair as it framed her face and caused her skin to glow more golden than it already was, Ketsu felt that dull ache becoming more acute.

I’m sorry, she wanted to say. I was wrong about everything - about us. I hurt you and then had the audacity to believe I was right. You - the only person who saw good in me and cared about me enough to make me feel safe, happy. You - the only person in this whole wretched galaxy that I ever loved and then threw away. 

It was funny the way things worked out sometimes. Ketsu felt her lips curl into a pitiful attempt at a smile, and her throat began to tighten. She had left Sabine all those years ago when Sabine had needed her most, and now, the same thing was happening to her. Maybe it was Force-induced retribution, ineffable to her but nonetheless restoring a distorted balance. Ketsu just thought it was a cruel joke. The need to speak began to boil more fervently in her, pushing to escape through her burning throat.

“What? Are you going to miss me or something?” Sabine tried to keep her voice light, her tone almost joking, but behind the veneer of levity and nonchalantness laid a hope that she could only pray wasn’t misplaced, a longing that could be played off as nothing if unrequited.

Though in less than ten words, Sabine had rubbed salt so deeply into a wound that refused to heal that Ketsu could almost feel her heart screaming as it cracked. Of course, she would miss her; she missed her every day of her life. She missed her knowing that she was the one who had sent her away, and she missed her knowing that by her own doing, she could never have her back. She missed her excruciatingly, aware of the fact that they could never have between them what she so desperately wanted, all because of her mistakes. She couldn’t bear to look up at Sabine so instead rested her face in her hands, now staring at the ground.

“Yeah.”

Her voice was barely a whisper, hoarse and tensed, but Sabine turned towards her as if she had yelled out above the wind and distant cry of loth-bats a clarion declaration of… she couldn’t admit to herself what she was thinking. She placed her hand, open palmed, on the cool space of rock that was between them, despite not being sure if Ketsu could see. If she could, it was an invitation. If she couldn’t, well, she was a person who offered herself even if the other person didn’t accept her - even if they didn’t deserve her. 

Sabine thought Ketsu deserved her, though.

Ketsu could see a gloved hand place itself down upon the rock. It couldn’t have been accidental, but she was unable to accept the reasoning behind it. Why did Sabine keep opening herself up to her? Wasn’t she afraid she would hurt her again? Ketsu would never dream of hurting her again - not ever. Maybe Sabine knew that, but maybe, Ketsu thought, she didn’t. Maybe she was never sure, always taking risks because the fear of holding back and missing out was greater than the fear of being wrong. That explanation seemed to her so fittingly, so simply, and so perfectly Sabine that Ketsu let her hand - not fall - but deliberately position itself onto Sabine’s, intertwining their fingers and holding on just a little too tightly for it to be anything but purposeful, like Sabine would be gone if she didn’t.

Ketsu looked out to the horizon to see Lothal’s twin moons beginning to rise as the sunlight grew dimmer and farther away, and Sabine’s hand slithered out from under hers. Ketsu found herself gripping at the cool rock where it had been. She almost looked up, needing an explanation though telling herself she didn’t deserve one, until she felt the weight of Sabine’s arm wrapping around her shoulders. She closed her eyes and sighed as she melted into the welcomed touch, unable to voice her gratitude. She slowly lowered her head, only hesitating for a moment, and rested it on the space between Sabine’s neck and shoulders, and she felt the gnawing ache inside her subside, even if just for that moment.

“I will.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a piece of art by @juicyspacesecrets on tumblr so you should definitely check them out!
> 
> Writing this was me being like: ok verbalize years of repressed gay pining so I did something close to that
> 
> Oh and my tumblr is @gayrazebs if you wanna follow me or something (I should really remember to add this to notes more often)


End file.
